Tohrment: The Quiet Hero of the Black Dagger Brotherhood

An Open Letter to JR Ward

SPOILERS AHEAD!!

I started my reread of the Black Dagger Brotherhood series in anticipation of the Passionflix adaptation—and let’s be honest, the TikTok love fest didn’t hurt. Watching new readers discover this world has been one of the most joyful things I didn’t know I needed. There’s something special about seeing others fall for characters you’ve carried with you for years.

I was late to the series, probably 7-10 yrs behind the rest of the world. From the moment Tohrment stepped onto the page in Dark Lover, I was hooked. Not the loudest. Not the flashiest. But something about him stayed with me—steady, grieving, quietly dangerous in the way still water runs deep.

I speed-read the series just to get to his book. I couldn’t wait to see him finally take center stage.

And then…
Book Ten came. And he didn’t. Not the same way Wrath, Rhage, Zsadist, Butch, Vishous and Phury had done, and let’s not forget the THREE other books that he patiently waited through.

There was so much going on—other threads, other couples, other heartbreaks.
And Tohrment, the one I had chased across ten books, felt like a side story in his own book.

I was disappointed. Not because it wasn’t well written, but because it wasn’t what I’d pictured. Kind of like when the actor cast to play your favorite book boyfriend doesn’t quite live up to the version in your head… # irony I wanted fireworks. I wanted vengeance. I wanted the kind of love that explodes.

But this time around, and I’m only up to book six—older, maybe a little more weathered—I see it.
I see him.

It’s hard to write a main character who doesn’t demand the spotlight. To give us a man who won’t fight for his own happiness, who doesn’t believe he deserves it, who keeps showing up for everyone else instead.

The moment Tohr opens his arms to John Matthew(Lover Enshrined) when he could’ve pulled away, stayed closed off, protected his pain instead of his son? That was it. That’s when I got it! He doesn’t flinch. He just… receives it. Like he always has.

You gave us the slow rebuild of a man who had no reason to hope.

And you didn’t rush it. You didn’t tie it in a bow. You let it hurt, and stall, and stretch until healing showed up looking nothing like he expected.

That takes guts. That takes restraint. That takes the kind of storytelling that sticks.

I didn’t understand him the first time. But I do now.

Thank you for writing him the way you did. For making room on the page for quiet strength, for slow redemption, and for the kind of love that doesn’t chase the spotlight—but still shows up in full.

I have more letters to write. Phury’s story surprised me in ways I wasn’t ready for. The V and Butch Bromance and Why People Get It Wrong. And don’t even get me started on the fallen angels. But for now—to Tohr. And to the woman who gave him back to us.

Which Brother or side character surprised you the most? Do you feel differently as you revisit the series?